If My Life Were A Manga

[shazrasha]

If my life were a manga, I would never be bored at work for at least one of my co-workers would have brought a sword to work and will no doubt challenge me to a duel to defend some minor point of honour.

This duel would take place in amongst the desk and I will remain firmly attached to the phone at all times. I will always be victorious (I am the Heroine after all) however I may scare away the user on the phone either by shouting strange martial arts down it, or by fixing their issue without having asked what the problem is.

If my life were a manga, I would have suitors (both male and female) coming out of the woodwork trying to impress me. Some of these will be crossdressers, at least one will be partially feline.

If the catgirl is not one of my suitors, they will follow me around like a lost puppy (!?!) and do their upmost to be my friend. This will involve performing tasks that they think I would like them to do but inevitably failing due to lack of experience. They will however endear themselves to me for trying. Randomly work will not fire me for the damage she does, though they will keep docking my pay.

If my life was a manga, when I go to the coffee machine I will spot a door I never knew existed. Strangely my swipe card will open it; despite the fact that my card wont allow me into the server room. Inside there will be a hidden AI unit who has been created to destroy the world but who will abandon this mission because I tell it to.

If my life was a manga, teaomancy would involve a lot more than the reading of tea leaves. Instead every time I blended a new tea some strange magical effect would happen. Despite a complete ineptitude for any other magic, my tea will break down any mystical attacks or diseases. I would also be able to make the perfect fika (Swedish thing involving the serving of tea/coffee and seven types of cakes/food when guests arrive). My fika, though lovely, would serve no other magical purpose.

If my life was a manga, I would be destined to save the world; while holding down my job and fulfilling several sidequests to find out why I would bother in the first place. Oh and I would spend an awfully long while asking "why me?" I will never get a good reason for this but will eventually settle for "No one else would do it."